The Legalities of Marriage

Marriage in England and Wales - The Legal Lowdown

Why do I need a celebrant if I’m having a civil ceremony? Your Guide to Legal Weddings in England and Wales.

Hi there, future newlyweds! I’m Ruth, a wedding celebrant, and if you’re reading this, you’re likely deep in the exciting (and perhaps slightly daunting) process of planning your wedding ceremony or civil partnership England and Wales. This time of planning should be filled with joy, creativity, and dreaming up the most wonderful day possible. That’s my role -  to help you craft a bespoke, narrative-driven celebration that truly represents your unique personalities and love story.

But before we dive into the gorgeous details of personalised vows and perfect settings, we need to address the crucial topic of legal marriage UK.

I need to be crystal clear right from the start: the beautiful, bespoke, heart-stirring wedding ceremonies I conduct as your celebrant are NOT legally binding. My role is to lead your celebration, but I cannot legally register your marriage. Therefore, you must proactively go down one of the legal routes to marriage BEFORE you have your wedding celebration ceremony led by me.

Think of it this way: the legal step is the necessary administrative foundation, and the celebrant-led ceremony is the glorious structure you build on top of it. You need the foundation first! Understanding this distinction is the key to planning a stress-free, perfect day where neither your legal status or your emotional experience are compromised.

Step One: The Legal Basics

All the information in this article is taken from the following official sources, which I strongly recommend you read for absolute clarity and more details:

• https://www.gov.uk/marriages-civil-partnerships

• https://www.churchofengland.org/life-events/your-church-wedding

• https://www.mygov.scot/getting-married

• https://www.nidirect.gov.uk/articles/guidance-marriage-procedures-northern-ireland

As you plan your journey toward a legally recognised union, it’s essential to understand your legal responsibilities. The law defines who can marry, and these rules are pretty much consistent across the UK, though there are crucial differences in Scotland and Northern Ireland, which I won’t cover in this article - see the links above for further information and guidance.

To get married or form a civil partnership in England or Wales, you must meet three key criteria:

1. Both partners must be 18 or over.

2. You must not already be married or in a civil partnership. Any previous marriage or civil partnership must have been dissolved, annulled, or ended by death.

3. You must not be closely related.

It’s worth noting that same-sex couples in England or Wales also have the option to convert an existing civil partnership into a marriage. If you or your partner are from outside the UK or Ireland, you will need to check immigration control requirements and may need to apply for a visa to marry in the UK.

Step Two: Giving Notice

One of the most common questions I hear is: "How far in advance do we need to book everything?" While the planning for your bespoke celebrant wedding can begin whenever you like, the hard deadlines are dictated by the legal process, specifically the requirement to give notice to marry.

What is ‘giving notice to marry?’ This is the act of going to your local register office (even if you don’t want to marry there) to tell them you intend to marry. If you and your partner currently live in different areas, you must each give notice at your local office.

There are three main reason for giving notice:

1. Officials must check you meet all the eligibility criteria

2. The register office displays the notice on a public record so that anyone who knows a legitimate reason why you shouldn’t be married can pipe up.

3. You need to let the registrar know where you plan to hold your legal ceremony. 

The key piece of information here is that you cannot hold your legal ceremony until the 29th day after you have given notice, and the notice period is valid for 12 months, so you essentially have 11 months to legally wed - if you don’t marry in this time frame, you must start the process again.

There’s a standard cost of £42 per person to give notice (more if you’re subject to immigration controls).

For couples planning their timeline, the golden rule is this: You must secure your legal date before you can finalise your celebration date. The administrative clock starts ticking once you give notice, and this dictates the earliest possible date for your small, legal ceremony. Your celebration ceremony can take place any time after that.

If you’re planning a church wedding, there’s an equivalent but slightly different process of giving notice, which involves the reading of bans. See https://www.churchofengland.org/life-events/your-church-wedding for all the lowdown.

Once you have your dates fixed, then you can get in touch with me (ruth@storyceremonies.co.uk) to start planning the fun stuff.

Step Three: The Legal Ceremony

When you choose the route of a standard civil marriage ceremony in England and Wales, which is necessary if you don’t plan a religious service in an approved place of worship, you are entering a tightly regulated process designed solely for the administration of the marriage contract - which has little room for personalisation.

There are also strict rules about where a legal marriage or civil partnership must take place, and how the ceremony must be structured and worded. This means it cannot adequately capture your unique story.

Here are the rules for a purely legal, civil ceremony:

• Approved venues only: the ceremony can only take place in designated venues. This means either a local register office - which might have outdated décor and an impersonal feel - or an approved venue (like a hotel or country house). While approved venues are often more aesthetically pleasing, they will usually charge a premium simply for the privilege of holding the legal signing on site (you also have to pay the registrar who conducts the ceremony). Additionally, the ceremony cannot take place outdoors unless it’s in the grounds of an approved venue and underneath a fixed structure.

• Strict time constraints: legal ceremonies are often constrained to certain hours during the working week or on specific weekend slots. If you’re late, you could lose your slot altogether. This very nearly happened to me - I was in danger of being unfashionably early so I asked my dad to drive round the block again (which happened to be the busiest roundabout in Birmingham on a Saturday afternoon), and by the time I arrived I was literally seconds from my slot being cancelled. Silly me.

• A dry ceremony: the legal ceremony must not involve alcohol to ensure all the key people are of sound mind

• No religious elements: a civil ceremony must not include any religious elements. Readings, music, and vows must remain secular. This is, of course, exactly why many couples choose a civil ceremony over a church wedding, but it also means that there’s no room for blending traditions if yours is an interfaith marriage.

• Pre-written vows: there are certain predetermined vows and promises that form the legal contract and declaration of marriage, and whilst some registrars will allow subtle personalised add-ons, you are not allowed to go off script altogether.

When you put all that together, it makes for an off-the-shelf experience. A standard civil ceremony is designed for efficiency and legal accuracy, leaving very little space for bespoke storytelling. Church weddings can feel more personal, meaningful and beautiful, but this is not an option if you’re not religious, or you’re a same-sex couple. 

So what if you want a ceremony that’s completely bespoke and celebrates your unique love story? Is there another way? YES!

The Celebrant Solution: Separating the Legal from the Meaningful

This sterile, administrative reality is precisely why more couples are choosing to hold a small legal ceremony in a register office with 2 witnesses, followed by a wedding celebration ceremony led by an independent celebrant. This allows you to satisfy the legal requirements efficiently, leaving your main personalised wedding celebration free from rigid constraints.

By holding the legal signing separately - which could be hours, days, weeks or months before the main event - you transform the administrative burden into a simple, cheap, and quick tick-box exercise. You go to the register office, sign the necessary papers, exchange the legal declarations with your two required witnesses, and you are legally married. Job done.

Then, the fun begins! Your celebrant wedding celebration can be anything you want it to be!

Imagine the freedom:

• Location, Location, Location: a mountain top in the Highlands? A historic ruin in the Cotswolds? A beach in Wales? Your own backyard garden? Yes! Because the ceremony has no legal status, there are no restrictions. Zero. Nichts. Nada. Have your heart set on a venue that’s not approved for civil ceremonies? No problemo! As long as there’s the space and access you need, you can hold a wedding celebration ceremony instead.

• Timing: your celebration can happen at sunrise or sunset, on a Tuesday, or exactly when the tide is perfect for your beach backdrop.

• Content: you can be as personal and unique you want it to be. Your ceremony can have a theme, involve family members (even the furry ones), bespoke vows, cultural traditions, religious blessings, secular poems, symbolic rituals, drinking champagne or shots - whatever truly reflects your story.

• The story: this is my specialism. As your celebrant, I dedicate my time to understanding your history, your quirks, and your dreams. I craft a bespoke narrative that leads guests through the emotional journey of your relationship, resulting in a unique, moving, and unforgettable experience.

• The vows: you are completely at liberty to write your own vows to each other - they can be sentimental, emotional, funny, or all of the above. You can even keep them secret from one another. I can give you guidance on how to write them, or, if you prefer, I can write them for you. You can read them off cue cards or repeat lines after me. The choice is totally and utterly yours.

Choosing the two-part approach - the low-key legal signing followed by the bespoke, celebrant-led celebration - is the modern secret to having both a legally sound marriage and an emotionally authentic, boundary-free wedding day. The celebrant wedding ceremony is the soul, the heart, and the magic that you and your loved ones will remember forever.

Let's make it happen!

Written by Ruth Edmondson: a filmmaker and feature writer turned celebrant, bringing years of storytelling experience to the way we celebrate life’s biggest moments. Whether you’re tying the knot, renewing your vows, welcoming a new life or affirming a new name, Ruth will craft a ceremony that’s creative, joyful, and utterly personal.